Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Cesar Milan: The Dog Choker - Part II

There are no words for this.

Cesar Milan: The Dog Choker - Part I

Enough with the bullies, lets talk about the most famous dipshit in the dog world, Cesar Milan. Abusive, ignorant, close minded, blind, SNAKE OIL SALESMAN. His solution to everything is to kick or choke out your dog.  Literally. He calls hysterics, fear, excitement, enthusiasm, breed traits, everything under the sun, by the same trumped up name "aggression" and he ignores real aggression/warning behaviors, because he is too stupid or ignorant to see them. I can't count how many times I saw his precious widdle baby, Daddy, give him the stinkeye or guard his food from Cesar, and he didn't once even notice. Now I'm not a trainer, or a behaviorist, but I fucking listen to my own dogs and the dogs around me, when they talk to me with their body. And I don't attempt to shove every dog into the same mold. I don't ignore and disregard manmade breed traits that are stronger than instinct.

Before you DW fans go screaming at me, I HAVE read his books. I HAVE watched his show, just about every last darn episode of it. I HAVE met Cesar himself. I HAVE met dogs that he has "fixed" -shudder-.

I don't need to slander Cesar. I don't need to make up lies about Cesar. Its all right there, on his show, for all to see.

Tell me there isn't a million things wrong with this entire clip.

In the first 30 seconds I already want to cringe, he calls the leash pulling and barking "aggression" when its very clear the dog simply doesn't know how to not pull on a leash, and is out of control excited at the sight of over dogs. This dog has just been yanked around and kicked, he has never been shown clearly what is wanted of him. He is terrified of Cesar but still has NO clue what hes supposed to be doing.

And the idiot with the tug toy-- NO. You do NOT have complete attention from that Mal. The tug in your hand has the complete attention from that Mal. Put the toy down on a table and try to walk away with the dog and I guarantee he won't pay you any mind at all.  I DO like the lovely heels and focus he is getting while he has the toy, but like food dependent training, it will only get you so far. I would rather see the dog looking at my face than at my hands.

I like that brings in low key dogs, but Cesar babbling about "energy" is just more snake oil salesman crap. Just because you are too stupid to see it Cesar, doesn't mean its invisible. Its body language, not ESP.

I love the positive attention that flirt poles got, and I definitely think Troy is probably a perfectly good dog, with no aggression at all, he just needs a working sort of owner, not the dumb soccer grandma  he has. Why do people do this to themselves? If the dog doesn't suit your personality, sell the poor thing to someone who can use it!

Sticks! Sticks everywhere! (NSW)

This is what I get to see breeders proudly showing off. Shes two weeks from whelping. Yay! More stick straight puppies! Her size isnt bad, but shes grossly underdone, much much too terrier for the Am Bully. She should, more properly, be considered an APBT, but not even APBTs have such retarded structure. No angulation, anywhere. This dog is a roached box on sticks. At least her feet are nice.... Thats all I can say.

And then theres this. I don't know if I should laugh uncontrollably or rage and pull my hair out. (did I mention my blog is not worksafe?) (I tried to figure out a setting to only show the first few lines of a post until you clicked on the blog entry itself, and I can't find it, otherwise I would have done that here. Sorry!)

Monday, May 30, 2011

No, you may not have my "puppie"

Whatever possessed someone to beg for a free pit bull puppy as a companion for their mixed breed Catahoula Lab thingiething. This is just the worst idea in the long sad history of bad ideas. "Oh but they will be the best of friends! I watched The Dog Whisperer!" I can almost hear their excuses.

And while I'm on craiglist, I swear if I see one more listing that says "my reptile has to go for 10 times more than its worth because I just don't hold it enough anymore and its lonely" MY BRAIN IS GOING TO EXPLODE. YES. EXPLODE. People. Its a snake. As long as you are throwing it a 60 cent mouse every couple days its happy as a pig in shit. And your shitty normal phase ball python (or your nasty normal phase corn snake. Or your underweight calcium deprived gecko) you got from Petco is not worth $150, not even with a 10 gallon tank included. (I know that wasn't dog related and I'm sorry. It won't happen again.)

Do they think this is gonna sell their nasty obese rhino?

A warning should accompany this: Don't watch while eating or drinking anything

Firstly the dog is DISGUSTING. Tons of loose flews and lips everywhere, floppy easty westy feet, nasty little tiny piggy eyes, dropped pinched (yellow?!) chest, short upper arm, short forearm, high rear what little you can actually see of the BODY of the dog and not his ugly face. And the music... Like they are presenting an award! The camera angles and jerking and panning all over almost made me nauseous and did hurt my eyes. Yikes. This guy needs an award for "How to not sell your dog". Nothing about this video makes me like this dog or his crackpot owner.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

And now the ladies

So far I have just featured trainwreck males and nice males. The Am Bully is a male-oriented breed, unfortunately, and good females don't tend to be as impressive or flashy so they aren't as noticed. They also don't tend to be as messed up, structurally, but when they are whoooooo boy lookout

This sad little girl is named Sweet Money. Likely for what her idiot owner is anticipating making off her when he breeds her to death. Theres unfortunately nothing about this poor baby thats correct or even reasonable.

Now that you have seen horrifying, here is another brindle and white bitch that is lovely, and her breeders did something right with her. Shes not perfect of course, but her faults are minor and the total package is just wonderful, lots of bulk and breed type, without losing her femininity. Unfortunately I do not know her name or who owns her, but kudos to them! I can only hope that when (not if) she gets bred, the male is just as balanced and cute.  And look, she has a full tail!

Good breeders create better and better

This is an example of a good breeder, lest you all think American Bullies are somehow a breed composed entirely of freaks and animals created by a drunk Picasso. He is not hiding or photoshopping any angle of his animals, he has correct and to-the-standard dogs, and reading (approx) from top to bottom, he is getting better and better every generation. He also shows heavily, and makes an honest effort to help and educate his fellow dog people. This is the kind of person that is GOOD for a breed.

Remember, unless its a step forward, its a step back!

One more pic of 3 generations, R to L. These are all mature intact males, as well. You CAN breed for correct temperament. These things are not random, people!

Abusive show handling, GO!

Gotta love this picture. The show photographer said afterwards that she saw the entire thing building to a head and kept her camera trained on the dog for the moment he retaliated. Showing a dog on a prong? What the hell is wrong with people? If your dog is so unruly and out of control that you can't manage to hang on for the ride IN A SHOW RING, why is your dog out in public anyway? What I would really like to know, mostly, is how the hell your relationship with your own dog degrades to the point where he feels he has to bite you to tell you hes upset or stressed.

My mind is just blown right now. (Note this is a very old picture, from several years ago. I just fall over every time I see it.)

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Donate Dictionaries to the bully community. Please.

No pics this time, but I recently saw a gentleman post his new puppy with great pride, explaining earnestly that her pedigree was VERY exclusive, and then proceeded to tell me what was in it.

Black Ace x2
Romeo x2
Godzuki x2
Monster Jojola x2
and a few other things that are directly related to all the above dogs, all 2 or 3 times. These are grossly overused dogs-- last time I checked, Mr Ace has offspring numbering in the thousands, and most of those are inbred on him so 90% of his grandprogeny have him 2 or 3 or 4 times in there, or all of the above dogs 5 times each, or something similar.

I tried very politely to explain that this was not exclusive, as thats not what the word exclusive meant, and was met with hostility and a very long rant about how much bone this puppy has, and how her head is amazing, and her eyes are set very far apart "separation" (newbies seem to think this means the head will be very big when they get older) and a bunch of stuff that didn't have anything to do with exclusive pedigrees.

Don't you love ignorance?

Arf arf arf arf!

More seals! Because everybody should have a dog with his feet in different zipcodes! He even has flippers, actual flippers! Webbed, splayed toes. His left elbow looks like its holding a grudge against his ribcage, and doesn't he look just super happy to be alive! Another trainwreck male off a Big Name Stud, trying to make their money back. Look people if you didn't get conned and taken in by pretty websites, bling, and Big Names in the first place, you wouldn't have garbage that you blew $thousand$ on. Doesn't anybody look at their dogs? Or pick up a book?


Friday, May 27, 2011


Continueing the theme of flipper feet, this lovely pup is named Bezerk, because his owner did not know how to spell "berserk". Probably. I can't imagine the pain this dog endures on a daily basis, attempting to wrestle his curlique noodle legs into some semblance of order, so that he can walk from point A to point B.

You'll be happy to know that Mr Bezerk passes his delightful front legs on to over 90% of his offspring. Offspring you say? Why yes, offspring. He is currently standing at open stud. Keep your eye out for baby crippled seals in a suburb near you!

(On a more serious note..... Breeders: Stop. Just stop  breeding this stuff. Its not worth it. It doesnt make you look good. )

"The next big thing"

Yep, thats what they're calling him. This is the new prized stud of the proud S**** P**** Kennels (name censored because they don't need more business or attention).

Don't you want this dogs offspring? Aren't you jealous? This poor guy makes my knees hurt just looking at him, if his high rear wasn't bad enough his front is just.... Wow. I can imagine he walks like a seal on land, and his poor feet go flopping off to the side and he tries to run at an uphill to keep his arse from overtaking his nose.

Does this look like a happy dog to you? The poor kiddo should be humanely euthanized to spare him the next 10 years of misery as his body breaks down and collapses all around him, provided he doesn't die of heat stroke first.

What this blog is

I have been reading a lovely, hilarious, insightful blog called Fugly Horse of the Day, for some time now, and I swear every time this woman makes a particularly strong point I think "Gee, that happens in dogs too!". So I was inspired today to make my own version. I have history in the American Pit Bull Terrier and American Bully so those dogs will be mostly featured, but any dog related WTF news I come across is fair game. Deformed dogs, stupid husbandry, stupid owners, bad breeding practices, nothing is sacred.